New Super Spreader Identified

Worrying reports have emerged of a new super spreader of something that puts is significantly faster than the current OMICRON version of COVID. So concerned are global agencies that the most secret monitoring capabilities across the globe are being coordinated through the US Based NORAD headquarters in order to monitor, track and examine the effects of this super spreader.

Code named Atnas after a traditional global phenomenon scientists predict that this particular issue will last a full 24 hours but effects will be almost immediate and unlike any forms of COVID will be instantaneous across the globe. It has been recognised utilising historical analysis and the latest AI driven intelligence forward predictive analysis that the maximum effect will be amongst those in their pre-teenagers, but different symptoms will be felt by older individuals within families.

Symptoms of the new Atnas variant are different to any from COVID, in up to 99% of cases there is an uncontrollable tremor in the mouth region with muscle tightening and twitching, grinning is the clear sign. It is also recognised that the stimulation of the lacrimal glands resulting in excessive eye watering can occur and some have been known to burst into Song, heralding the onset of many of the symptoms.

Those with symptoms of the Antas super spreader are often known to hear bell like tinkles, snow crunched and thundering like noises similar to hoofs on roofs. History has suggested this is not new and many potential remedies exist in tales of yesteryear ranging from Whiskey (yes the e is very important, and no it isn’t Rye whiskey!) or Sherry, Carrots and Mince Pies.

So concerned about the intelligence surrounding this Super Spreader, the Global Recognition Identification Node, controlled by the North American Aerospace Defense Command, NORAD has set up a specialist tracking facility to ensure they can see the spread of what the super spreader is delivering – An OTAN – NATO Spokesperson says “we are aware of this phenomenon and will be assisting out NORAD Colleagues in Monitoring the progress of  Atnas – Santa as joy and happiness is spread across the globe.”

From all of the Grey Hare Media team we wish everyone a very safe, peaceful and healthy Christmas and New year with a special thanks to the NHS teams and all who work with them not just at this time of the year but always. Thank you for making 2022 possible.

PS – You can Track Santa’s progress HERE: https://www.noradsanta.org/en/map