New Super Spreader Identified

New Super Spreader Identified

New Super Spreader Identified

Worrying reports have emerged of a new super spreader of something that puts is significantly faster than the current OMICRON version of COVID. So concerned are global agencies that the most secret monitoring capabilities across the globe are being coordinated through the US Based NORAD headquarters in order to monitor, track and examine the effects of this super spreader.

Code named Atnas after a traditional global phenomenon scientists predict that this particular issue will last a full 24 hours but effects will be almost immediate and unlike any forms of COVID will be instantaneous across the globe. It has been recognised utilising historical analysis and the latest AI driven intelligence forward predictive analysis that the maximum effect will be amongst those in their pre-teenagers, but different symptoms will be felt by older individuals within families.

Symptoms of the new Atnas variant are different to any from COVID, in up to 99% of cases there is an uncontrollable tremor in the mouth region with muscle tightening and twitching, grinning is the clear sign. It is also recognised that the stimulation of the lacrimal glands resulting in excessive eye watering can occur and some have been known to burst into Song, heralding the onset of many of the symptoms.

Those with symptoms of the Antas super spreader are often known to hear bell like tinkles, snow crunched and thundering like noises similar to hoofs on roofs. History has suggested this is not new and many potential remedies exist in tales of yesteryear ranging from Whiskey (yes the e is very important, and no it isn’t Rye whiskey!) or Sherry, Carrots and Mince Pies.

So concerned about the intelligence surrounding this Super Spreader, the Global Recognition Identification Node, controlled by the North American Aerospace Defense Command, NORAD has set up a specialist tracking facility to ensure they can see the spread of what the super spreader is delivering – An OTAN – NATO Spokesperson says “we are aware of this phenomenon and will be assisting out NORAD Colleagues in Monitoring the progress of  Atnas – Santa as joy and happiness is spread across the globe.”

From all of the Grey Hare Media team we wish everyone a very safe, peaceful and healthy Christmas and New year with a special thanks to the NHS teams and all who work with them not just at this time of the year but always. Thank you for making 2022 possible.

PS – You can Track Santa’s progress HERE: https://www.noradsanta.org/en/map

Drone Detection and Defences Switched Off

Drone Detection and Defences Switched Off

Drone Detection and Defences Switched Off

By Philip Ingram MBE – Chief Grey Hare Spy

The Grey Hare Media team can confirm that high level talks have left Gatwick and Heathrow vulnerable to drone incursions as detection and disruption technologies, boosted after last year’s 3 days of disruption at Gatwick airport in the middle of the Christmas getaway, have been switched off.  Investigations can also reveal that similar activities have been ordered at all airports across the globe.

A spokesman for Dubai airport, one of the worlds busiest hubs said, “We have our fingers crossed that there won’t be any disruption to normal airport operations as any closure we estimate costs us $100,000 per minute.”  The full cost of the Gatwick closure has not been released yet, but EasyJet estimate it cost the airline approximately £15 million.

However, the US/Canada joint air defence establishment NORAD has indicated that it has deployed a global monitoring system, able to ensure that any threat through the lack of local capabilities can be mitigated.  It has taken very careful negotiations to convince the Russian, Chinese and other governments that this is for positive not sinister purposes.  Every country less North Korea has agreed to the new protocol that is for a short period of 31 hours only.

The reason for this global cooperation is that North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) have a special SANTA tracking facility that is made ready once a year to ensure that SANTA is kept safe and should there be any mishaps, then the right help can be provided quickly.  Not many people realise that according to observations from the International Space Station SANTA has only 31 hours to visit every home across the globe. This seemingly extended Christmas day is thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth.  SANTA travels from East to West.

This joint US/ Canadian facility will not be affected by any of President Trump’s tweets nor relations between himself and the Canadian PM. It is a vital global service ensuring the safety of happiness and joy.

What NORAD have confirmed is that Santa makes 822.6 visits per second allowing him 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house….. phew…..

So, the chances of children seeing him are very remote, however, he has specialist stealth technologies that keep him invisible, and they can’t be compromised which is why the new drone detection technologies are being switched off.

Santa’s sleigh moves at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. This makes Rudolf a very special type of reindeer as a conventional reindeer can run at a maximum of about 15 miles per hour. His defining feature is his red nose but at 650 miles per second and with special stealth technologies, only Santa and the other reindeers should be able to see it.

However, the Grey Hare spies’ team have been informed that Santa’s stealth technology was hacked at the same time his naughty list was last year and the hackers still have not been caught. It is believed that the rapidly deployed drone detection technologies sent to Gatwick were used to enable the hackers to get into Santa’s stealth systems and ultimately the naughty list database.

Santa isn’t quiet in the run up to Christmas, whilst his elves and Mrs Clause are getting the present production working at full tilt, Santa does a series of practice runs to let his reindeers stretch their legs and confirm they still remember where to go and practice his emergency plans.

Part of their emergency plans are landing (covertly) for quick repairs so present delivery can continue. He also has spare sleighs covertly deployed in case of catastrophic failure. The Grey Hare spies saw HMS Big Lizzie being used last year as a CSSDP, covert spare sleigh deployment platform, and this year, given the increasing age of the sleighs SANTA asked if HMS Prince of Wales (POW) could host another with an Elf repair team – the code word to listen out for if you are a radio ham should there be any problems is “execute operation LizziePOW.”

Hopefully there will be no disruption and joy can be delivered to all.  A very Merry Christmas to one and all from the Grey Hare Media Team.

 

 

 

 

Santa hacked again

Santa hacked again

Santa hacked again – Grey Hare spies investigate the latest.

In the run up to Christmas there are always incidents that bring joy, bring concern and bring worry.  HMS Big Lizzie returned to her home port after successful sea and air trials started last year just before Christmas when she was used as a to secret FOB for Santa, as reported by the Grey Hare Media team here: https://greyharemedia.com/top-secret-mission-for-hms-queen-elizabeth/

However, in the year the new General Data Protection Regulation came into force, we were reminded of Santa’s vulnerability given the amount of data he has in his databases. He knows the name and address of every child across the globe. He has details of who has been good and who has been naughty, his naughty list is one of the most comprehensive global databases, and it was hacked!

Now there are a few things that we need to know about Santa and the Grey Hare spies have been hunting to bring them to you. He has 31 hours of Christmas to work with thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth and according to observations from the International Space Station he travels east to west.

The North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD)have a special SANTA tracking facility that is made ready once a year to ensure that SANTA is kept safe and should there be any mishaps, then the right help can be provided quickly.

This joint US/ Canadian facility will not be affected by President Trump’s government shutdown. It is a vital global service ensuring the safety of happiness and joy.

What NORAD have conferment is that Santa makes 822.6 visits per second allowing him 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house….. phew…..

So, the chances of children seeing him are very remote, however, he has specialist stealth technologies that keep him invisible, but that seems to have been compromised.

Santa’s sleigh moves at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. This makes Rudolf a very special type of reindeer as a conventional reindeer can run at a maximum of about 15 miles per hour. His defining feature is his red nose but at 650 miles per second and with special stealth technologies, only Santa and the other reindeers should be able to see it.

However, the Grey Hare spies’ team have been informed that Santa’s stealth technology was hacked at the same time his naughty list was. This has only just come to light when Gatwick Airport was brought to a standstill over drone incursion incidents.  What people don’t realise is that just before Christmas each year Santa has a series of practice runs to let his reindeers stretch their legs and confirm they still remember where to go. Part of their emergency plans are landing (covertly) for quick repairs so present delivery can continue. The Grey Hare spies saw HMS Big Lizzie being used last year, however, a regular conventional stop is Gatwick Airport amongst other global airports.

This is not widely publicised as at 650 miles per second, using Santa and Rudolf’s specialist anti-collision device (the red Nose) he is usually in and out between flights without being noticed. This year was different, something clearly blocked the red nose stealth tech making it visible and concerned staff will have reported it as a possible drone incursion. Santa’s security team believe this may have been a deliberate act by the GRU to say “Bah Humbug” for embarrassments they have suffered this year.

Severely embarrassed at disrupting flights for his adoring fans coming to the North Pole to visit him, as well as those off on holiday, Santa has refused to comment on this latest embarrassment.  Luckily, under his beard, and with his red suit, no one had noticed the gentle flush of his face going red.

What is critical is that his operations on 24thDec delivering presents goes ahead – so appeals have been made to Elisabeth Denholm the Information Commissioner and the EU GDPR regulators not to investigate Santa too closely and to the Gatwick authorities, to realise he is really, really sorry!  He also appeals to the GRU and President Trump just to let him get on with his job and deliver joy not angst.

Follow his progress using NORAD’s live tracker here: https://www.noradsanta.org

 

 

 

 

Santa – the facts

Santa – the facts

Santa – the facts

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth. The Grey Hare Spies have been hunting to bring to you- Santa – the facts.  According to observations from the International Space Station and NORAD he travels east to west.  NORAD have a special SANTA tracking facility that is made ready for its once a year outing to ensure that SANTA is kept safe and should there be any mishaps then the right help can be provided quickly.

He makes 822.6 visits per second allowing him 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house….. phew….. so the chances of children seeing him are very remote….

This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. This makes Rudolf a very special type of reindeer as a conventional reindeer can run at a maximum of about 15 miles per hour.

In addition to the facts researched by the Grey Hare Media team above there are a few other things you should know about the global Big Red Man… and all of these have come from www.uselessdaily.com.

  1. In the United States and Canada, his name is Santa Claus.
  2. In China, he is called Shengdan Laoren.
  3. In England, his name is Father Christmas, where he has a longer coat and a longer beard.
  4. In Germany, children get presents from Christindl, the Christ Child.
  5. In France, he’s known as Pere Noel.
  6. Santa Claus, Saint Nicholas, Saint Nick, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle, Santy, or simply Santa is a figure with legendary, historical and folkloric origins who, in many Western cultures, is said to bring gifts to the homes of the good children on 24 December, the night before Christmas Day.
  7. The modern figure of Santa Claus is derived from the Dutch figure of Sinterklaas, whose name is a dialectal pronunciation of Saint Nicholas, the historical Greek bishop and gift-giver of Myra.
  8. During the Christianization of Germanic Europe, this figure may have absorbed elements of the god Odin, who was associated with the Germanic pagan midwinter event of Yule and led the Wild Hunt, a ghostly procession through the sky.
  9. Santa Claus is generally depicted as a portly, joyous, white-bearded man—sometimes with spectacles—wearing a red coat with white collar and cuffs, white-cuffed red trousers, and black leather belt and boots and who carries a bag full of gifts for children.
  10. Images of him rarely have a beard with no moustache.
  11. This image became popular in the United States and Canada in the 19th century due to the significant influence of the 1823 poem “A Visit From St. Nicholas” and of caricaturist and political cartoonist Thomas Nast.
  12. This image has been maintained and reinforced through song, radio, television, children’s books and films.
  13. Since the 20th century, in an idea popularized by the 1934 song “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town”, Santa Claus has been believed to make a list of children throughout the world, categorising them according to their behaviour (“naughty” or “nice”) and to deliver presents, including toys, and candy to all of the well-behaved children in the world, and sometimes coal to the naughty children, on the single night of Christmas Eve.
  14. He accomplishes this feat with the aid of the elves who make the toys in the workshop and the flying reindeer who pull his sleigh. He is commonly portrayed as living at the North Pole and saying “ho ho ho” often.
  15. The tradition of Santa Claus entering dwellings through the chimney is shared by many European seasonal gift-givers. In pre-Christian Norse tradition, Odin would often enter through chimneys and fire holes on the solstice.

Track Santa at using the special NORAD portal below:

 

By the way – the Grey Hare Media team can help you with any of your requirements, we will talk to anyone (ish) – if you want to get in touch click HERE

Top Secret Mission for HMS Queen Elizabeth

Top Secret Mission for HMS Queen Elizabeth

Top Secret Mission for HMS Queen Elizabeth

by Philip Ingram MBE our Defence and Security Correspondent

The New York Times reported last Saturday that the US Defence Department ran the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program at the cost of about $22 million between 2007 and 2012 however, they missed a vital link to HMS Queen Elizabeth!

The Grey Hare Media team being an intrepid group of investigative journalists and security specialists have now identified that the research they completed has been used to inform the North American Aerospace Defence Command (NORAD) command centre.  NORAD is a United States and Canada bi-national organisation charged with the missions of aerospace warning, aerospace control, and maritime warning for North America. Aerospace warning includes the monitoring of man-made objects in space, and the detection, validation, and warning of attack against North America whether by aircraft, missiles, or space vehicles, through mutual support arrangements with other commands.

So, what has this got to do with the UK’s new £3.1Bn aircraft carrier HMS Queen Elizabeth affectionately known as “Big Lizzy”? Extensive reporting on Tuesday highlighted that “Big Lizzy” had sprung a leak and before that there was extensive criticism in some mainstream press outlets that “Big Lizzy” was an aircraft carrier with no aircraft. Questions abounded over the motivation for the Royal Navy to accept her into the fleet with no planes and clearly leaky faults.

Not to be ones who accept any story at face value, the Grey Hare covert investigation team went to work and discovered that the Royal Navy have been running a deliberate campaign of false news to cover up the preparation for a top-secret mission that “Big Lizzy” has been covertly rehearsing for under the guise of sea trials.

Santa on HMS Queen Elizabeth

The Grey Hare surveillance team capture rehearsals for Big Lizzy’s top secret mission

This top-secret mission has seen “Big Lizzy” working closely with NORAD in preparation for a special monitoring mission that is due to commence on Sunday. Given the global threat and the unusual events reported by the USAF in 2007 that triggered the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program the mission is there to protect the delivery of joy and happiness across the globe.  That joy and happiness, particularly aimed at the world’s children is provided by a special agent who goes by the code word “Santa.”

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth. According to observations from the International Space Station and NORAD he travels east to west.

He makes 822.6 visits per second allowing him 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house….. phew….. so the chances of children seeing him are very remote….

This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. This makes Rudolf a very special type of reindeer as a conventional reindeer can run at a maximum of about 15 miles per hour.  But Santa has calculated that if he can reduce his present load, and get a few minutes reindeer rest then he can deliver his joy and happiness more efficiently and with much less environmental impact.

James Abernethy who has worked with NORAD in the past told the Grey Hare Media team “Those guys at NORAD don’t miss anything and have the ability to monitor any and all unusual flying objects which make them ideal for Santa tracking. Of course, Santa is well aware of this and over the years has increasingly relied on NORAD to give him over watch and inform people of his whereabouts. He is particularly pleased that the Royal Navy can now provide a much-needed refuelling and restocking ability to enable him to fly lighter, faster and greener.”

Santa was unavailable for comment, his office siting busy last-minute preparations.  The Royal Navy haven’t provided any comment. Of course we at Grey Hare Media will talk to anyone, so if you want to chat click here: https://greyharemedia.com/contact-us/

NORAD hare happy to keep everyone updated:

How do they do it?