Top Secret Mission for HMS Queen Elizabeth

by Philip Ingram MBE our Defence and Security Correspondent

The New York Times reported last Saturday that the US Defence Department ran the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program at the cost of about $22 million between 2007 and 2012 however, they missed a vital link to HMS Queen Elizabeth!

The Grey Hare Media team being an intrepid group of investigative journalists and security specialists have now identified that the research they completed has been used to inform the North American Aerospace Defence Command (NORAD) command centre.  NORAD is a United States and Canada bi-national organisation charged with the missions of aerospace warning, aerospace control, and maritime warning for North America. Aerospace warning includes the monitoring of man-made objects in space, and the detection, validation, and warning of attack against North America whether by aircraft, missiles, or space vehicles, through mutual support arrangements with other commands.

So, what has this got to do with the UK’s new £3.1Bn aircraft carrier HMS Queen Elizabeth affectionately known as “Big Lizzy”? Extensive reporting on Tuesday highlighted that “Big Lizzy” had sprung a leak and before that there was extensive criticism in some mainstream press outlets that “Big Lizzy” was an aircraft carrier with no aircraft. Questions abounded over the motivation for the Royal Navy to accept her into the fleet with no planes and clearly leaky faults.

Not to be ones who accept any story at face value, the Grey Hare covert investigation team went to work and discovered that the Royal Navy have been running a deliberate campaign of false news to cover up the preparation for a top-secret mission that “Big Lizzy” has been covertly rehearsing for under the guise of sea trials.

Santa on HMS Queen Elizabeth

The Grey Hare surveillance team capture rehearsals for Big Lizzy’s top secret mission

This top-secret mission has seen “Big Lizzy” working closely with NORAD in preparation for a special monitoring mission that is due to commence on Sunday. Given the global threat and the unusual events reported by the USAF in 2007 that triggered the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program the mission is there to protect the delivery of joy and happiness across the globe.  That joy and happiness, particularly aimed at the world’s children is provided by a special agent who goes by the code word “Santa.”

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth. According to observations from the International Space Station and NORAD he travels east to west.

He makes 822.6 visits per second allowing him 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house….. phew….. so the chances of children seeing him are very remote….

This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. This makes Rudolf a very special type of reindeer as a conventional reindeer can run at a maximum of about 15 miles per hour.  But Santa has calculated that if he can reduce his present load, and get a few minutes reindeer rest then he can deliver his joy and happiness more efficiently and with much less environmental impact.

James Abernethy who has worked with NORAD in the past told the Grey Hare Media team “Those guys at NORAD don’t miss anything and have the ability to monitor any and all unusual flying objects which make them ideal for Santa tracking. Of course, Santa is well aware of this and over the years has increasingly relied on NORAD to give him over watch and inform people of his whereabouts. He is particularly pleased that the Royal Navy can now provide a much-needed refuelling and restocking ability to enable him to fly lighter, faster and greener.”

Santa was unavailable for comment, his office siting busy last-minute preparations.  The Royal Navy haven’t provided any comment. Of course we at Grey Hare Media will talk to anyone, so if you want to chat click here: http://ghmedia.wpengine.com/contact-us/

NORAD hare happy to keep everyone updated:

How do they do it?

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